What do you get when you cross a rooster and an owl?A cock that stays up all night!
A man and his wife were on their honeymoon. The husband took off his pants and handed them to his wife. "See if they fit." "They don't.""Now you see who will wear the pants in this house." She thought a little while, and took off her panties and asked him to try them on. "I can't get into these.""And you won't, either, with that attitude."
A man visits the doctor's because he has a severe stuttering problem. After a thorough examination, the doctor consults with the patient. Doctor: "It appears that the reason for your stuttering is that your penis is about six inches too long and it is thus pulling on your vocal cords, and thereby causing you this annoying problem of stuttering." "Ddddd octttor.
Why was the rubber flying through the air? It got pissed off.
A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?" The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit fell dead. What do you think of that?"